


It's Where You Belong

by legallyblained



Category: Glee
Genre: Adoption, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legallyblained/pseuds/legallyblained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine's daughter decides she wants to meet her birth mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Where You Belong

Josie was fidgety. Her hands kept wringing together and her foot was tapping on the floor.

“Sweetie, have you taken your meds today?”

“Oh, yeah, I- I’m just nervous.”

Blaine frowned. Alarm bells had already gone off when she sat them down for ‘a talk’. It wasn’t at all like her. He stayed as calm as he could, putting a hand on her knee as his other hand squeezed at Kurt’s waist. Kurt didn’t let himself smile, but he did enjoy their matching mannerisms. 

“Okay, Josie Jitterbug, do you want to tell us what’s up before you give us a heart attack? Is something wrong?”

He’d always called her that when she was little, when she’d been constantly wriggling and bouncing off the walls until she was diagnosed with ADHD. She pretended she’d grown out of it for a while when she was 13, but she objected when he’d started using it on Blaine instead. No, Dad. That’s what you call me.

“No, no, I promise it’s nothing bad. I’ve just been thinking… I might be ready to meet my mom. My birth mom.”

“Oh.” Kurt had felt composed before, sure he was ready by now for anything life could throw at him, and even though he’d been waiting for this for years it knocked him for six. He glanced at Blaine, who was obviously just as blindsided.

“Okay. Um. Right.”

She looked worried – they both wondered how long she’d been sitting on this.

“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to. I don’t need to meet her, not really, ‘cause you’re my family. I have two dads and you’re more than enough for me. Honestly, you’re a little too much half the time.”

“Thank you, darling,” Kurt laughed. “Well, we’ve got the agency numbers and everything in the study. We can get the ball rolling as soon as you want.”

“So we phone them, and they phone her, and we arrange something. We can all meet up together, or it can just be the two of you-”

“No. I want you to come. Well- at first. I think. Would it be weird if I took you with me?”

“Of course not.” Blaine was gripping fiercely onto her hand. “Whatever makes you feel most comfortable, we’ll do it. If you just want us to give you a ride and wait outside for you, that’s fine with us.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Can I- can I ask you something?”

She nodded again. Blaine chewed on his lip for a second.

“Is there… a particular reason? For you wanting to meet her?”

“Blaine, that doesn’t-”

“No, Dad, it’s fine. I guess- I don’t really know. I think I just want to know what she looks like. I’ve always thought about her, but it’d be nice to have a picture in my head instead of just an idea. I mean, I’m sixteen. Feel old enough.”

Kurt and Blaine nodded.

“That’s totally understandable.”

She opened her mouth, as if there was something else to say, but she closed it again. She stood up and hugged both of her fathers instead.

“Thanks, guys. I love you.”

“Love you too,” they said in unison, Blaine adding ‘baby’ and Kurt ‘honey’.

***

They met on a Saturday afternoon in a coffee shop. Nobody was sure what to expect – a shabby-looking drug addict, some timid teary thing, but Louise seemed… normal. She was younger than Kurt and Blaine, smartly dressed (a chic grey dress, bang-on trend, Kurt couldn’t help noticing with a hint of respect), already waiting when they got there. Photographs had been exchanged via the agency, so they would know who to look for. She stood up to greet them.

“Hi! Josie, hey, it’s so good to meet you, um- do we- shake hands? Or am I allowed to- to hug you?”

Josie put on a smile and reached out for a hug. Her most Anderson-Hummel trait – she was a hugger.

“Hi,” she said quietly, “nice to meet you.”

They stayed for a moment, Louise holding on tight, taking a long, shaky breath. When she pulled away she paused to look at Josie’s face for a moment.

“Gosh, you’re so pretty. Wow. Oh, sorry, you must be Kurt and Blaine?”

They shook her hand and introduced themselves.

“So, honey,” Kurt started, making sure he caught Josie’s eye first so he could emphasise through his expression that everything was her choice, “is it still okay for us to leave you guys to it? There’s a café just down the street, and we’ll both have our cell phones switched on, and you can just come get us when you want to go home?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Louise was still smiling nervously.

“Can I get you anything, Josie? Coffee? Oh, is she allowed coffee? I don’t want to-”

“I’d just like some water, please. I don’t like coffee.” She looked oddly serious. “I’ll see you two later.”

Blaine took her hand for a second.

“Everything okay, babe? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“No, I’m fine. Promise.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Later.”

Blaine made himself smile and nod. He and Kurt said their goodbyes and made their way out of the store.

***

“Do you think she’s really okay? She got so quiet in there?”

“Blaine, she’s meeting the woman who gave birth to her. It’s the first time she’s ever met a blood relative. I don’t blame her for getting a little nervous.”

“Still, I could go back, say I left my wallet in there-”

“You didn’t take your wallet out in there. Give them some time.”

“The hair, though. The exact same hair. And those dark brown eyes.”

“I know; it was weird. She seemed sweet though. And she asked for our permission about coffee, that’s good, right? She doesn’t want to undermine us. She respects the fact that we’re her parents.”

“We would never offer her coffee.”

Kurt grinned.

“Because we’ve seen that thing her face did when she tried it.”

“Kurt, what if Louise is cooler than us?”

Kurt’s mouth hung open for a second.

“What? Where did that come from?”

“You saw her, Kurt. I know you liked her outfit. She’s younger than us. I bet she doesn’t sing as many showtunes as we do.”

Kurt shuffled his chair closer to Blaine’s, stroking his lower back, just at the spot that had been giving him trouble recently. Blaine hummed quietly at the touch.

“Honey, I’m sorry to break it to you, but she will definitely be cooler than us. Everybody’s cooler than us. We’re dads. The best we can do is not wear stonewash denim or socks with sandals.”

“Ew. We’re dads, we’re not straight.”

Kurt snorted.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re her family. She knows that. She’s put up with us for this long; I doubt one drink with her birth mother is going to change that.”

Blaine puffed his cheeks out.

“I know that. I’ve been telling myself that for weeks. But.”

Kurt waited for him to keep going, but nothing came. He gave him a nudge.

“But…?”

“But she’s a girl. She’s a cisgender female and she has periods and boobs and she can understand stuff we can’t.”

“At least we can do boy talk.”

“But- but Josie could be gay. Then we’d be hopeless.”

“Stop that. You are an excellent homosexual. And Blaine, I don’t think a week has gone by in our little girl’s life without Rachel or Carole or Santana or your mom putting in an appearance. We’ve got plenty of female influences in her life. And her friends’ moms all asked you how to give a period talk after word got round about your little tam-puppet show.”

“Don’t bring Patrick and Tamsin into this.” (Patrick the pad and Tamsin the tampon. Long story.) “How are you so calm? Why aren’t you freaking out a little bit, Kurt? That’s her birth mother. It’s so huge, and she could just stroll in and make Josie fall in love with her and whisk her away-”

“Woah, woah, shh,” Kurt pulled him close and kissed his temple. “Do you really think for one second that any of that could actually happen? Has Jo done anything to make you think she doesn’t want to be part of our family?”

He left Blaine slump slightly in his arms.

“No. It’s just- I don’t know.”

“Come on, there’s something else there. Talk to me.”

“It’s a reminder, okay? It’s a reminder that she’s- look, I know that Josie is our daughter. I do. I would just rather not remember that she- that we didn’t, you know, make her. That woman can just appear out of nowhere after sixteen years and bam. They look alike. Nobody would doubt she’s hers. They don’t even know each other. I know we decided against surrogacy because if we couldn’t both be the bio-dad then neither of us would be, and I’m glad we made that choice, but I guess it’s just scary. That she can just exist and have that connection without even trying.”

“But we did try. We do try. Every day. Who took Josie to the emergency room that time a baseball gave her concussion?”

“Me.”

“And who made her stay in bed even though she wanted to go back out and keep playing?”

“I did.”

“And who has been to every single one of her baseball games since, despite a total lack of interest in baseball and a belief that it is more dangerous than it’s worth?”

“Us.”

“You don’t really need me to say any of this, do you?” Blaine shook his head where it was nestled against Kurt’s shoulder. “Blaine, there was a baby girl who needed a family, a home, and we gave that to her. She knows that means more than genetics. She knows we’re her family.”

“I know. Sorry for freaking out.”

“Thank you for freaking out so I could distract myself by calming you down. It was either you or me, pal.”

“Here to help. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

They shared a quick, soft kiss before going back to snuggling in the corner of the café, when Blaine’s phone buzzed on the table.

Josie <3: On my way over now xxx

Blaine looked at his watch, even though the time was on the screen.

“It hasn’t even been an hour. Do you think something happened?”

Kurt looked at the door.

“We’ll find out soon enough.”

A very worked-up looking Josie was standing in the doorway looking for them. They scrambled to their feet and ran over to her. She grabbed them both into a tight hug.

“Jose? What happened? Are you okay? Did she do something?”

“No, no, she didn’t- I just want to go home.”

***

Blaine drove them home, while Kurt sat in the back with Josie, holding her hand. She stayed quiet all the way. Blaine made her a cup of tea as soon as they got back.

“So,” Kurt began, an arm wrapped around her, “do you want to talk about it? Didn’t you like her? Was she not what you were expecting?”

Josie shrugged.

“I don’t know. I swear, she wasn’t mean or anything. It just felt weird.”

***

They covered school, baseball, books, movies, music, when Louise finally said the words Josie had been waiting for.

“So, are there any questions you want to ask me? About my family history, or-”

“Why did you give me up?”

She would never have told her dads that this was something she thought about. She loved them and she loved being their daughter, but it had always been there in the back of her mind – _someone didn’t want you_. She needed some kind of reason. She’d been picturing some lost, terrified teenager, no clue how to cope with a baby, and here was this lady: so together, so tidy, so sure of herself. The story she’d been telling herself her whole life didn’t make sense any more.

“Right. I thought you might want to – yeah. Okay. I was twenty four when I got pregnant. I told my boyfriend and we started doing sums. We looked at our salaries, our living situation, where we were in our careers, what our parents would say – Josie, this is going to sound wrong, so please just let me get it all out before you react, okay?”

Josie nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Right. Honestly, we could have kept you. We would have survived. I told my mom and she offered to help, and if we were careful… we were ready to try to make it work. But we- people always tell you that becoming a parent is the best thing in the world. My brother already had two kids, and he always told me that when he found out his wife was pregnant, it was the happiest day of his life. He cried at every sonogram appointment. We didn’t cry. We made a spreadsheet. We just… we didn’t want to be parents. We felt like we didn’t have a choice; we just thought it was a punishment for not being careful enough, or like- like it was just something we had to do. It was just growing up.

“At the first sonogram, I thought maybe it would change, but it- I wasn’t happy. It felt so huge. It was just this giant responsibility.”

Josie felt her eyes stinging. _She just didn’t want you_. Louise, seeing her face fall, took her hand.

“It wasn’t you, I swear. It wasn’t that I wanted you to disappear, I just didn’t feel- I wouldn’t have been enough for you. I’m not patient. I’m kind of a workaholic. I’m horrible with kids.”

 _You could have tried_ , Josie wanted to say, but her throat felt too tight. She sniffed and glared at the table.

“But then I thought – anybody else would be happy about this. Someone still could be happy about this. I felt so bad for not feeling the way I was supposed to feel, but then I thought maybe there was somebody out there who would feel that, would see that little fuzzy picture of you and feel fireworks in their chest. You deserved that, Josie.”

Josie finally looked up at her.

“I went to a few agencies, read so many files, then I saw your dads’. Their statement, their references, the little story of how they’d been together since high school…” Josie couldn’t help smiling a bit. She’d heard the story so many times. “They were just right. Something clicked. They were your parents before I even picked up that folder. Honey, I’m not a mother. It just isn’t in me. But they’ve got it coming out of their ears. I saw it when they brought you in here. I don’t ever want you to feel that I just didn’t care about you. I wanted the very best for you, and that’s Kurt and Blaine.”

There was a moment of silence. Josie could tell Louise had been practising that story for a long time. Maybe her whole life.

That little voice in her head, the one saying _you could have tried_ , had reduced to a whisper. A quiet _what if she had tried_? No Kurt and Blaine, no brothers. A different home, different life – that wasn’t what she wanted.

Right now, she just wanted her dads.

“Okay,” she mumbled. “Thanks for explaining.”

“I always worried that you would feel awful about it, and I’m so sorry if you did, but do you- do you understand? You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t blame you. But seeing you today, seeing them- I don’t regret what I did. I still think it’s the best thing I could have done for you. But it’s so wonderful seeing you know. If there’s anything else you want to know, or if you want to hang out, see a movie, go shopping, I’ll do anything you want. I’d be grateful for any tiny part in your life. But I respect that they are your family and your home. I could just… maybe be the cool aunt you see now and then?”

Josie took a calm breath in through her nose and sipped her water. She nodded.

“I’d like that. Thank you. I- if you don’t mind, this has all been a little- I think I’d like to go home now. But thank you.”

She leaned over and gave her a long hug.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. You really are an amazing young woman. Your dads should be very proud. And so should you.”

Josie smiled, wiping a tear away with the heel of her hand. She pulled back and nodded.

“I’ll stay in touch. Thank you so much. For everything.”

***

“So, what did you guys talk about? Did you tell her about baseball? About the school play?”

“Yeah, yeah, that kind of stuff. I- I might see her again eventually, but not for a while. You guys are all I need now.” She hugged them both, and they caught each other’s gaze behind her head, both giving a little shrug. They parted and Kurt stroked her hair and Blaine cupped her cheek, holding her hand. “Can we watch a movie? Maybe get pizza?”

Blaine grinned.

“Sure, love. Go order – but I’ve only got thirty dollars in cash so don’t go crazy.”

She kissed them both on the cheek with a smile before going to hunt for the menu, even though they always ordered the same thing. Kurt looked to Blaine.

“Told you it would be fine.”

“You did. And how relieved do you feel right now?”

Kurt just grabbed him, sighing into his ear.

“We’ve got a good kid, haven’t we?”

“The best.”


End file.
